Tuesday, February 19, 2013

CSI: Skunk Sprays My Dog

Date of the crime: Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
Weather Conditions: 20 mph winds. Blowing snow.  Windchill at about 10 degrees
Time of the crime:  6:20 am
Location of the crime scene: 5 foot radius around the chicken coop.
Events leading to crime:  I entered the chicken coop to feed the worthless laying chickens and within seconds I smelled pungent, fresh smell of a skunk.  The smell hit my nose like a fist to my face and I ran out of the coop as I did not know if that foul smelling, disgusting, good for nothing, son of a b*t#h was in the coop. As I was heading for the house to get a flashlight to see where that good for nothing omnivorous rodent was I saw Alvin my black cat heading to the house.  I grabbed him as Alvin tends to get himself into unnecessary trouble. By the time I got to the front porch, the smell was even worse............
.........and pacing on the front porch was a smelly, foaming at the mouth Dixie.
Direct Victim of the Skunk Spray:  Dixie, Cardigan Welsh Corgis
My exact thoughts at that moment:  "You have got to be Fing kidding me?"
She was a mess.  Foaming at the mouth. Panic in her eyes. Trying to rub the smell from her face.
I left her on the front porch. Grabbed a bucket.  Made a mixture of Dawn soap, baking soda, and hydrogen peroxide, and some water.  Ripped of my clothes and put on an old t-shirt and shorts. Put on some old boots...not my good muck boots of course, and grabbed a pair of latex gloves.....and outside I went. 
So, there I was, at 6:30 am in the blowing snow, freezing my a*s off, scrubbing my skunk sprayed dog.  She got hit square in the face so I didn't fully bath her as I didn't want to transfer any skunk oils to the rest of her body.  I washed and rinsed her 4 times.  Dried her off and put her in the screened-in-porch and went inside to take a second shower. 
Going to school was not an option at this point. First, I wanted to make sure Dixie was okay and secondly, I just wasn't sure I "smelled right" and I know how compassionate 9th graders are, of course, I would probably smell better than some of them but thats another blog post.  My principal found humor in my situation when I called her.....go figure, but she did thank me for not coming in to school;)
So, where was the skunk?  How did Dixie find it? 
I think she intercepted it somewhere by the chicken coop. 
 Nasty little cuss. 
Again, why did Noah let skunks on the boat?
The skunk better have moved on.
He is messing around on the wrong farm.
I got the house in the divorce & I don't share.
I got friends in low places.
I have friends that are a bit left of center too.
PS.....Dixie is doing fine. Muzzle & ears still smell a bit and she is not getting any kisses from me tonight.