Saturday, October 2, 2010

My Little PITAS

October 2nd and the hormones are in full rage over here! As a result, they are now labeled as my PITAS: Pain-in-the-Asses. Last year I bred no one and I am thinking that if I do not breed anyone this year, there could possibly be a mutiny on the owner, me! I have actually toyed with who was going to be bred to who and though I have not divulged that information to anyone, there seems to be a power trip going on in the boys clubhouse.

Pictured above are the 2 head PITAS in the clubhouse. Smooth polled Jed and horned Ripton, whose grandsire is Jed, obviously somone didn't get the magic polled gene.

This would be the other "butthead" pose. These two have been stuck like glue the last 2 weeks. Now I do have to say that using Jed has improved the tails on the spotted sheep I have. So I thinking Ripton is going with Windswept Savannah because she is mioget and would it not be fun to have a mioget spotted lamb? Perhaps he is getting Abby, a fawn kat also who has delivered 2 spotted lambs also. Jed is going with Windswept Betsy as that match has produced spots before and he is getting Sally Ann the ewe I had for sale. Sally Ann has produced 2 smooth polled rams in 2 separate breedings. She has been sold and with fingers crossed her new owner Dave will get some nice polled genetics!

Jed: "Are you serious, this little punk is an off-spring of mine? Look at him, he thinks he's all that and then some."

Jed: "Hey, my friend here, TJ, wants to know if you can help him out this season?"
"Well Jed, I am thinking about it, I will keep you posted. But only if you guys promise to stop beating the crap out of the gate, its starting to look ghetto out there!"

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I Am NOT a Dumb A*#

Dear Mom:
I am writing this letter to you in regards to the accusations that were thrown at me upon your arrival home the other day. What accusations you ask? How quickly you forget the slip of your tongue in your old age (43 I believe this coming November?). Let me refresh your memory: you called me a "dumb ass". Please, wipe that look of shock off of your face, and please note the picture I have included in this letter. Your shocked look is nothing compared to my wounded heart.

In my defense I would like to point out a few key facts that presents a solid case as to why I am NOT a dumb ass as you have so wrongly accused me of being.
First of all, when you came home from school, I greeted you with open wags and kisses. It was not until you noticed the empty Tupperware container on the couch next to ReRun, that you started to eye ME suspiciously. It was next to him, not me! Then when you went into the kitchen, you found the other Tupperware container on the floor. Dixie was the one who picked it up and brought it to you, not me. I was sitting by the door because I had to go out and pee, I was not trying to hide like I did something wrong. At first you thought "I" opened up the refrigerator and took the Tupperware containers out of there........seriously, are you kidding me? It was at that point you realized it was the Tupperware containers that had the chocolate chip pumpkin cookies in them. Now I would like to point out that, I was not the dumb ass who left Tupperware containers filled with cookies on the edge of the counter. Weren't you suppose to take those to school to share with your fellow teachers? How is it MY fault that you forgot them? And why would you leave food that close to the edge of the container with 3 dogs in the house?

I am not the dumb ass you accuse me of because if I was truly a dumb ass, I would have eaten the cookies in the ceramic cookie jar, but that was still safe and sound on the counter. I know the difference between ceraminc and rubber when it hits the floor.
I would like to point out a key piece of evidence in my defense: Who was the dumb ass who did not pay attention to the cookie recipe and when you mixed all the ingredients and realized that you had ALOT of dough, was it only then that you read the "YIELDS 11 DOZEN COOKIES" line? Hey, I felt bad for you and by eating a few harmless cookies, I helped you out. And besides that, you are always telling us we all need more fiber in our diets and pumpkin is a good source of fiber. I was feeling a little loose after eating that piece of cooked cabbage out of the trash on Sunday so I thought the pumpkin would help tighten me up.

In conclusion, when you went to bed last night and felt that soft thing under the pillow, you know as well as I do, that Dixie hide the cookie under the pillow. I would have never wasted a completely good, fresh cookie for another day. And ReRun didn't hide that cookie cuz he can't jump up on the bed by himself so it is very obvious that it was NOT the beagles who ate the was that stinking, short legged, sneaky, wanna-be-beagle Cardigan Corgis Dixie.
But hey, if you get a chance tomorrow, could you just check my poop to make sure everything looks okay? I was feeling a bit bloated today.
your not so dumb ass Beagle