Saturday, July 31, 2010
And so I Dreamed.......and still do
Summer is always a time for me to reflect on the direction of my life. Sometimes it makes me frustrated, sometimes I come up with new ideas and projects, sometimes I get aggravated because things don't go as fast as I want, or I don't have the money to do what I want so I have to wait a little longer. Today is one of those days where I have to wait a little longer because Murphy's Law has been playing into my life the past 2 weeks and one thing after another has broken like my washer. Regardless, I have been picking away at the 5 yards of top soil I had delivered last week because I had new ideas for my garden. So why I was slaving away slowly with my shovel and NEW wheelbarrow (one of Murphy's Laws: order 5 yds of dirt and your wheelbarrow dies so you have to buy a new one) I was thinking about how far my little 4 acres in the country has come since 1991 when I bought the property.
The picture above is one of my most favorite pictures. I can still look at this photo today and know my dream is still alive. I took this photo in 1994, a year after I was divorced. The house in the pic is actually my neighbor's behind me. My newfies are actually walking into my backyard. Yes, I had 3 beautiful Newfies, Zeus, Brutus, and Molly. They were my heartbeat, my life line, and best friends for many years. They kept alive the dream of making something of my home. They made me laugh and they licked away many of a tear when I just was ready to give it all up. They truly were and still are part of my soul.
Another favorite photo I took last Autumn from my deck........amazing how much has changed since 1994.
This photo was taken 2 winters ago........not my favorite time of the year but I still love the photo;)
This maple tree is actually the little twig in the first photo. It reminds me that things take time, some things grow slower than others, but in due time the dream will still prevail as long as one lets its roots become firmly planted in the heart.
Pictures are easy to post and easy to look at and even assume or pass judgement on. I was reading over at Melanie's "Wee Farm" about an issue she is having with a fellow blogger/farmer. It is so easy to "become" a person, farmer, or whatever on the Internet. The photos, for example the ones I posted today, don't even come close to showing the work, the tears, the frustration, the hours upon hours of extra work/jobs I did besides teaching, to get the money to have the little farm. I could write forever on all the downsides, the animals lost, the mistakes I have made, the starting overs..........and on and on. But I can sleep at night because I am honest with myself, I believe in myself, I am not lying or cheating anyone, and so at night I can dream a little more. I can look at my pictures and know that I. did that. all by myself.
And having a few 4 legged best friends along the way makes it all worth it.
Tonight, however, I am going to be dreaming about sore muscles and moving all that stupid dirt.....................