Saturday, July 31, 2010

And so I Dreamed.......and still do

Summer is always a time for me to reflect on the direction of my life.  Sometimes it makes me frustrated, sometimes I come up with new ideas and projects, sometimes I get aggravated because things don't go as fast as I want, or I don't have the money to do what I want so I have to wait a little longer.  Today is one of those days where I have to wait a little longer because Murphy's Law has been playing into my life the past 2 weeks and one thing after another has broken like my washer.  Regardless, I have been picking away at the 5 yards of top soil I had delivered last week because I had new ideas for my garden.  So why I was slaving away slowly with my shovel and NEW wheelbarrow (one of Murphy's Laws: order 5 yds of dirt and your wheelbarrow dies so you have to buy a new one) I was thinking about how far my little 4 acres in the country has come since 1991 when I bought the property.

The picture above is one of my most favorite pictures.  I can still look at this photo today and know my dream is still alive. I took this photo in 1994, a year after I was divorced.  The house in the pic is actually my neighbor's behind me.  My newfies are actually walking into my backyard.  Yes, I had 3 beautiful Newfies, Zeus, Brutus, and Molly.  They were my heartbeat, my life line, and best friends for many years.  They kept alive the dream of making something of my home.  They made me laugh and they licked away many of a tear when I just was ready to give it all up.  They truly were and still are part of my soul. 

Another favorite photo I took last Autumn from my deck........amazing how much has changed since 1994.

This photo was taken 2 winters ago........not my favorite time of the year but I still love the photo;)


This maple tree is actually the little twig in the first photo.  It reminds me that things take time, some things grow slower than others, but in due time the dream will still prevail as long as one lets its roots become firmly planted in the heart. 
Pictures are easy to post and easy to look at and even assume or pass judgement on.  I was reading over at Melanie's "Wee Farm" about an issue she is having with a fellow blogger/farmer.  It is so easy to "become" a person, farmer, or whatever on the Internet.  The photos, for example the ones I posted today, don't even come close to showing the work, the tears, the frustration, the hours upon hours of extra work/jobs I did besides teaching, to get the money to have the little farm.  I could write forever on all the downsides, the animals lost, the mistakes I have made, the starting overs..........and on and on.   But I can sleep at night because I am honest with myself, I believe in myself, I am not lying or cheating anyone, and so at night I can dream a little more.  I can look at my pictures and know that I. did that. all by myself. 
And having a few 4 legged best friends along the way makes it all worth it.

Tonight, however, I am going to be dreaming about sore muscles and moving all that stupid dirt.....................

8 comments:

jen said...

You work so hard at your keeping your dreams alive. I am very proud of you sister!

Kathy in KY said...

Hi Kristi - love your post today. I have longed wanted to live in the country and raise livestock and a garden. And things are slowly starting to fall into place little by little. And as I look back, I can see where God has allowed me to experience certain things and people in my life to prepare me for this brand new start in my life. And if I can pinpoint, this started about 1984 with him starting to plant seeds in my life, and has continued to do so and will continue to do so. I, too, am divorced. But I think that if I hadn't been married, I wouldn't have had the experiences on my in-laws' farm which led me to working with hogs at the Univ of KY for nine years,and before that working at the Eastern KY Univ farm when I was in school there. At that time, farm-work was my therapy, and literally saved my life, I think. So, I can now see things kind of coming to fruition with a new phase of my life starting when I make a move to south-central KY next month. And I have gotten to know so many women who have small farms and love it, and have shown me that I can do it, too, with some hard work, sweat, and dreams. And you're one of them, Miss Kristi - so thank you, ma'am! Take care, and thanks for sharing your life with all of us, from KY.

Kara said...

Great post.

Tammy said...

Great post Kristi! Even I can tell from just your pictures how much love and HARD WORK you've put in to your little piece of ground. It looks so charming, plus you can tell you've had visions and dreams about it all along, as everything flows together. I tend to 'overthink' and plan things out too, so that I have far far to many ideas and projects to ever have time to accomplish--but I figure as long as one has dreams and ideas there is hope. It's when we give up and no longer plan and work towards our goals that we should worry. Love the picture too of your newfies. I think I understand now why you don't have newfs at the present. Sounds like they were a wonderful trio to share life with.
Tammy

Nancy K. said...

Isn't living your dream an honor? What a wonderful job you have done of making a home for yourself and your animals. You are an inspiration to many!

Keep Dreamin'

;-)

kristi said...

Jen,
Your such a good sister;)

Kathy,
It sounds like your off to a great start! Your kind words are very much appreciated and if reading my blog helps you see your dreams come alive then thats even better!
So then pigs must be part of your farm plans??

Kara,
It is good to hear from you! Hope all is well with you!

Tammy,
so many ideas....its getting there as you so understand. And yes, those Newfies were a very special part of my life and I think I am getting closer to adding one again to my life;)

Nancy,
Your words are very much appreciated! My animals inspire me in so many ways.....they truly are part of my heartbeat:)

Donna said...

Wonderful post...thanks for sharing! I, too, have shared my life with Newfies (raised them for over 20 years!) and miss them terribly at times. Now my Pyrs make me smile and fill that empty space...
My dream is to stay where I am with my hubby and the animals and also chip away at the "picture" that I have in my head...of what Kindred Spirit Farm is all about....some days are easier than others! Keep on keeping on...God bless you.

Kathy in KY said...

Hey Kristi - I wouldn't mind raising some hogs. I'd probably start out with feeder pigs, and raise them, but later may attempt farrowing - it all depends on the set-up I end up having at any place that I rent, or end up buying in the next few years. If I can get the Mennonite home to rent, and like it, I have my eye on an Amish home with 13 acres, and really great outbuildings, already fenced and cross-fenced, at a really good price because it is an Amish home. But it's been on the market for some time, so I kinda doubt it will still be on the market when I'm ready to buy - but who knows? I do like working with hogs, though, they're funny and extremely intelligent. Thanks again for your inspiration. Take care, from KY.