I need to write because I am frustrated, I am upset, I am pissed, it has been a really crappy week and today topped it all. I was contemplating writing about this about maybe someone reading will understand or maybe give perspective to a really bad situation.
Approximately 4 years ago I bought my beautiful mioget ram Yankee. He was going to be my foundation ram for my new Shetland flock. I was very proud of my choice and he was just beautiful. That first year he bred all my ewes which resulted in 3 ewes, a ram, and a cross-bred ram which became a wether. I decide to keep the ram as I had inspirations for him as I knew I wanted to get more ewes that year and therefore I thought I would not have to buy a new ram as I already had 2 now. Samuel, as he was named, was turning out to be a nice boy. My flock was starting to grow and just over a year ago I was reading about the polled shetlands. I really liked having TJ, my polled Cotswold. TJ has a wonderful temperament, easy to get along with, doesn't destroy fencing like my 2 horned rams were doing so I decided to go with the polled Shetland ram......I fell head over heels for Jed who is just as mellow as TJ.
The decision now was to move Samuel out. He was not aggressive with me but had had a few altercations with Yankee & TJ resulting in some cuts. I tried to sell him but to no avail and yet I could not gather up the nerve to take him to auction so he stayed.
This Tuesday morning Samuel and Yankee had a very bad run in. I found Yankee on his side by the back of their barn. At first I honestly thought he was dead. I got him propped up on the side of the barn and realized he was almost in an unconscious state. It was about 5:45 in the morning and that side of the barn is dark so I was having a hard time seeing. I could tell Samuel was not giving this up and I had to led him to the back pasture with grain to get him away from Yankee and me. Once he was back there and gated off, I ran to get my flashlight. Yankee was in bad shape. Quite a few gashes on the face and the blood was sickening. I checked Samuel's face and he was just as bad though he was standing, Yankee was not. I attempted to get Yankee up to stand but by the second attempt it was not working. I did the rest of the chores and then was finally able to get him up and hold him up by the rear to get him into the barn. I had to go to work and prayed all would be okay, though my heart was just not feeling it.
He was alive when I got home, though still in the same place. I gave him water which he drank and some hay though he was not interested. I could tell he was just really hurting. I tried to get him up but he just couldn't hold himself up. Front legs were not broken, back ones appeared fine. I was thinking a possible fracture to the hip, leg, maybe nerve damage, internal injury?? It was a bad fight. It had to have happened early Wednesday morning because they were fine the night before when I checked on everyone at 9:00 pm. This morning he had moved some, but not enough to indicate he actually got up. He ate some grain and drank but his eyes were just sad and confused. Samuel was still staying in the back gated pasture. I called the vet at lunch and they gave me some leads on where to go. I stopped to get some meds after school and headed home.
Yankee had moved himself to the outside of the barn but it was not good. He had obviously fallen as he was muddy, face, and sides and his leg was back left leg which was sticking out from underneath him was very broken, a break that I knew could not be fixed. And his eyes told me now was the time, and I knew it too. I will never know what happened though I think he fell and landed wrong and because of his weight, it broke but perhaps it was broke in the fight and I just didn't notice it but I know I checked his legs. To see such a proud animal go down like this just breaks my heart. Sure he was a shit when he wanted to be and I will never deny he made some big messes out of my fences and once busted out a wall in my barn but he still was my big shit. Within an hour, I held Yankee in my arms as he was humanly put to sleep.
So much to learn, mistakes made, decisions to be made. Oh, hobby farming and raising animals is very rewarding and wonderful but this is the hard stuff, this is the reality that all the pretty pictures don't show. It does take a lot out of your heart. I know I get stronger with every experience and I understand more about the nature of animals and what it takes to raise animals. I was not prepared for something of this magnitude. It was one of those things you hear people talk about but its not suppose to happen to you. I want the best for my animals. I do my best, I try my hardest, but sometimes it just plain sucks.
I have decide that I will be taking Samuel to auction was soon as I can find someone to help me take him as I do not have a trailer. I can't keep one horned ram that occupies a very large area of pasture with a nice barn nor can I keep him knowing what happened to Yankee. I just can't. The area can be used for so many of my other animals and other purposes. My inspiration was to breed Shetlands. I still will but as beautiful as the horns are, I just can't breed for them. I love the polled Shetlands more. I know that not all of them are as docile as the ones I have but they are what I truly prefer. I have learned this and perhaps I learned it the hard way. This was a heartbreaking experiencing, it was a learning experience one that I pray will never happen again. Things happen for a reason. Today I am trying to make sense of why.
I love my wethers, everyone should have a wether to love and hug. They always have the most incredible fleeces!!
I love this face......I know Ira's eyes are in there somewhere!!!
